Being a Mom

Growing up I never realized how much I took my parents for granted. I never paid attention to how much they gave me, helped me, taught me, and loved me. Even after I got married I only scratched the surface of understanding how they felt. Now that I am a mother I realize more than ever how amazing my parents were and still are. Very few people can truly understand a mothers love until they are a mother (or parent) themselves.

I could never understand as just a daughter or a wife all that my mom and dad did for me. I never knew the love I could feel for one tiny person and how instant and strong that love could be. I never knew all that I would be willing to give for Brailey... and in a heartbeat. There is no greater reward then loving my daughter, seeing her happy, and knowing that she loves me even though she can't yet say the words. My parents gave me everything they could just to see me happy because they loved me... they raised me the best way that they knew how and all they wanted in return was my love and happiness. I look at my daughter and I just feel such a powerful love and bond with her. She is such an important part of my life as will be any of my other children. I don't know what I would do without her.

I am not only grateful for my parents here on earth, but for my Heavenly parents. If I can feel this love for Brailey, I can only imagine the love They have for each of us. The pain They have to bare when They see us struggle and the joy They have when we overcome our trials. They gave Their only Begotten Son so that we could repent of our sins and live again. What absolute love! I am grateful for the chance They have given me to feel and experience that love.

I love being a mom. I know there are more trials up ahead, but nothing will ever make me stop loving my daughter.

The new news

Feels like forever since I last posted on here, but I guess it wasn't THAT long ago. ha ha. Well, this isn't gonna be a normal post and no pictures. It seems like there is a lot of new stuff going on in my life... but I think that it is just a lot of stuff going on in my head instead. 

To get to the point, here is what is new:

Brailey is 14 months old now and she is learning to say words and know their meaning. She is so smart and words can't express the love I have for her. Lately, I have really noticed how much she has grown from the tiny baby I had. I have always known it, but lately its been a longing for that tiny angel in my arms. Needless to say, I have been starting the "baby hungry" phase, which is weird because I was COMPLETELY against having my children close together. I originally wanted them 3 years apart. That way it would give Brailey and me some time together before another baby is thrown in the picture and she has no clue what is going on and why I am not paying attention to her as often. I also thought that it would help having Brailey potty-trained and out of diapers or at least almost out of diapers. My last thought in having them 3 years apart was that I could actually get Brailey to understand what a baby is and that we would be bringing a new one into the family. I wanted her to feel like she was welcoming this baby into the family with us, instead of me just forcing it on her. So when this "baby hungry" feeling hit me, it hit me like a brick wall and it caught me off guard. I'm still trying to recover. Even with all the people around me getting pregnant again, (which is almost everyone) I was SET on waiting til they would at least be 3 years (probably a little longer since I don't want their birthdays the same). I do want to say a 'Bravo' to all you moms that are having yours close together cause I just don't think I could do it. At this point in my story, you are probably thinking "is she pregnant?" ha ha.. No. I am not and I still don't plan to be for a little bit. I guess the news I am trying to get out is that Jordan and I have decided to try for our second baby around August/September. By that time we should have some things figured out and if I get pregnant right away that will put Brailey and the new baby 2.5 years apart, which is perfect timing its not too soon for me, but its not too far either.

 

Talking about figuring things out leads me to my other news. 

For those of you that don't know, Jordan is graduating with 2 degrees this semester. One in Business Management and the other in Marketing. He has done so great even though this has been the worst semester of his life. I am so glad it is almost over. I feel like its been stressing ME out, so I can't imagine what he feels like right now. I have been so worried about what we will do after his graduation with the economy the way it has been. I work with plenty of people who got their degrees and haven't moved on or up in the world. So I was scared that we would be stuck here. 

At the beginning of the semester Jordan applied for an internship with Kohls. When he went in for his interview (only 5 people chosen in all of Utah) they told him that the internship applied to people who were going to be IN school, not graduating already. So they automatically interviewed him for Assistant Manager. He then had his second interview with them and they let him know that he got the job! Yay, right? I am definitely excited and a little nervous. He does training for 3 months, starting June 3rd, somewhere along the Wasatch Front and then they will choose what store he will work at. This could be anywhere in Utah (which is where they said they will Try to keep him) or it could be anywhere in the west coast. They were talking about Oregon mostly, but who knows? Its nerve racking not knowing WHERE it will be. So now we are in the process of trying to get the finishing touches on our house so that we can pack up and sell this place. The great thing is that if we do move out of state, after a couple years as an assistant manager for Kohls he not only can become a Manager but he can also transfer back into Utah... plus we will be able to shop at Kohls with his discount. ;) Wahoo... clothes for cheap!

It is so nice feeling like we are going to finally get out of this rut we are in and move on in life. I can't wait to get out of Logan and go somewhere new. See new things, meet new people, go new places. I am overly ready for this.

What else is new?

Me! Really, you might not notice a difference, but I do and that's what counts. I have never been happy with myself. I think it is safe to say that I never will be. I have been working on feeling better about myself though and so I have been attending a gym with a friend of mine from work who is acting as my personal trainer. Going to the gym just isn't enough for me. I can try to work out, but I am always unsure of what machines to use and how much to do. I could push myself, but it took so much longer to see results. Now, I have someone who knows what I need to be doing and what I should work on. And I am already seeing the results. I have seen so many pregnant women working out so I hope that when I get pregnant again that I will be able to keep it up cause with Brailey all I wanted to do was sit around and sleep. lol. All I can say is kudos to those that have the strength to keep it up. I decided to tell one of them that I thought she was awesome for being so strong and she actually told me that she gets sick if she DOESN'T exercise. Wow. Who knew that exercise could help with morning sickness? Hopefully, I will never have to experience morning sickness. It didn't get me with Brailey so I don't think it will get me with the second one. We shall see. 

Here I am rambling on about babies... Told you I was baby hungry. lol. Babies, Babies, everywhere. Well, thats all my news for now. :) I will keep up to date in the months to come.  

Surprise for the Stevens'!

Here is the story, I work with this lovely married couple at The Home Depot. Two of the best people you could ever know... Ashley and Scott Stevens. Well they just recently found out they were pregnant... GREAT news, right? It sure is, but very unexpected when they tell you on your first appointment that you are 6 months pregnant with a little boy. ha ha. 

With 3 months left to officially register that they were pregnant and little time to get everything needed for the baby, I decided they could use a bit of help. It was a golden opportunity and I took it. Without Scotty and Ashley knowing, I went around and asked all of our coworkers if they wanted to help pitch in some money to go in on a gift for them and their baby. I didn't know how much I could get from everyone since it was around the holidays, but I wanted to do my best at getting them as much as possible and I asked as many people as I could. 

I was absolutely AMAZED at how many people were so willing to give and how MUCH they were willing to give. Lets just say that I am now known as the "booky" at our store. lol. Once it all added up we got over $750 dollars for them. Can you believe it? I about died and they had no idea what was going on. 

 

During the asking and collecting time I kept talking with Scotty and Ashley about what their colors for the room were going to be and if they had a theme. These two are complete Disney fanatics and are CRAZY for mickey mouse. So it was no surprise they were going to do a Disney theme. I talked with them every day and got ideas on things they were wanting and needing (which was about everything) and they just thought it was small talk. Little did they know that I was plotting on getting them these items and more. 

On top of it, another friend and coworker, Sadie, had the idea that we should get them out of their house and decorate the room and get everything all set up for them. I loved the idea! The plan became even BETTER when a friend of mine, April, whose husband works with us decided to throw Ashley a baby shower. I decided that would be the perfect day to go in and "decorate." Once I got with April and told her the plans I asked her if she wanted any help with the baby shower. So we decided to do it together and we went with the theme of Mickey Mouse! I, also, got with Scottys parents and went over my plans with them because I would need their help getting Scotty and Ashley out of the house before the shower and I would need a way to get into their house to decorate. They loved the idea and were willing to help in whatever ways they could. They ended up buying the bedding because I couldn't get it to work in the budget... and that was the bedding that Scotty and Ashley absolutely wanted! And they gave us the space to hold their baby shower. 

Everything was turning out perfectly! I wrote a list of things that I was going to get them and planned out the money spending. After ordering everything, all I had to do was wait for the day to come, which was terrible because they were so stressed about how they were going to make it all work in so little time and I just wanted to be able to give them their stuff so they wouldn't have to worry anymore. 

Friday, I went in to decorate for the baby shower and then finally Saturday came. Gloria and I went in to decorate the baby room and get everything set up. We built the changing table and the glider, set up the bedding and laid everything out around the room for them to see. After decorating, we went to the baby shower and had a great time talking with everyone and watching them open presents. Finally, at the end, I told them that we had one more present waiting for them at home. We took them back and got it all on camera! What a great day! :D I was so happy that I could be a part of helping their dreams come true and making this journey an easier one to bare. 

Here are some of the mickey mouse decorations I made. 

Mickey mouse pom pom that I made. lol. People thought they were pinata's ha ha. They were big enough I guess they could have been. lol.

We put popcorn in these bags and gave them out as a little thank you gift. I got the idea from my cousins baby shower and thought it was awesome so we decided to do the same. 

This is the room all decorated. You can't really see the food, but it was DELICIOUS. April did an amazing job and even found some mickey mouse cut outs in cheese for the cheese and crackers. lol. It was AWESOME! Lots of people showed up too which made it so great because we wanted it to be so special for them. 

Beautiful Ashley and her cute baby belly. :)

Scotty joined the celebrations and watched Ashley open all the presents. So cute!

Can you tell he is so excited for this? ha ha. What a relieved look! lol. 

At their house... Scotty making funny faces before we let them see the room. 

All the stuff we got for them. Minus the crib, the mattress, the bedding, and the stroller system. 

 Had Michelle at our work make this sign for them, and then I wrote down the names of everyone who helped pitch in all over it. :)

Isn't this the cutest bedding?! I am SO glad Dr. Stevens and his wife decided to get this for them and we got to surprise them with it.

 These are some of the best faces to see when you give a surprise! :D ha ha. 

This is the look on their faces when I told them that we got over a total of $750 dollars to get them all these items. 

All in all we got them:

• Reclining Leather Glider
• Changing Table (given, but fixed up)
• Changing pad
• Video Monitor
• Play mat
• Two sets of bottles (one with binki's)
• Air Purifier
• Huge box of diapers
• 2 big boxes of wipes
• First Aid kit/ Groom kit
• Disney Pictures (given not bought)
• Muslin Swaddle blankets (best kind ever!)
• Bath tub (given, but never used)
• Baby Bath kit (wash, lotion, swabs, ointments)
• Mickey Mouse hooded towel
• Mickey mouse wash cloths
• Boppy Pillow
• Diaper bag
• Bouncer
• Breastmilk Storage Bags
• Breast pads
• Carseat cover (made)
• Breastfeeding cover (made)
• Mickey Mouse hat, diaper cover, and booties (for pictures)

Here is one of the videos. Blogger won't let me upload the one catching their reactions, but you can find it on my facebook. :)

1 amazing year, 1 beautiful daughter.

Brailey one year ago!

One year ago I gave birth to such a beautiful little girl. This wonderful baby who was so dependent on me for everything just grew up into this spunky little toddler. She has so much love and energy to give that it just astounds me. Its one of those bitter sweet feelings to know she is already a year old. I so very much miss those days when she was tiny and I could just fold her in my arms and she would fall asleep there. I miss feeding her and just being able to stare into her eyes. I miss how much she really needed me (she still does, but she is already so much more independent). But I love that her personality is growing and expanding, that I get to see her learn new things and say new words. I love that she has such a big heart already and that it can only grow more.

All I can say is that these days go by so fast! I can not even tell you where all that time went. For me, its hard because my brain doesn't retain memories very well anymore. This is why I blog as much as I can and take lots of pictures and videos. The only thing I will never forget is the moment I first saw Brailey and held her in my arms. Love at first sight. I know its real because I experienced it. I loved her when I first knew I was pregnant, but this love is so much stronger, so indescribable, and it only continues to grow.

We celebrated her birthday on Sunday the 20th for a few different reasons... one is that we wanted all our family and friends to be able to come and since most everyone has Sundays off it made it the obvious day to choose. It was also the only day that Jordan could go with his work schedule and school schedule since he has school during the week. Anyway, I made Brailey her own cake and then another one for everyone else. I did NOT have a fun experience making these cakes like I thought I would.

Here is the story, I wanted to make this round "polka-dot" cake that I saw on pinterest. (The polka dots are colored and on the inside not the outside). You basically just make cake balls (not the kind with frosting just already baked cake)...  and then you bake them in another set of cake batter. Sounds pretty simple right? WRONG! At least for me. I sprayed the pans with crisco, but the first set of cake balls broke in half when I took them out. Then the round pans I got weren't tall enough to cover the cake balls. And when one batch finally covered them enough the cake fell apart when I tried to get it out of the pan. I made a total of 4 cakes that all ended up in the trash because they all broke or got messed up. At that point I was so frustrated that I wanted to just go buy a cake, but they wanted $20 dollars for one at Sams Club. So Jordan just told me to make a few more. I decided I would still do the polka dot thing, but I didn't use the round  cake pans, I used normal 9x13 pans and then I used a smaller one for Brailey and just kept them that way. I didn't need another epic fail from this terrible baker.

Such a cute messy girl!

Well... after that everything went much better. We had the celebration at Jordans parents house so that we could fit everyone and so that it was close enough to where all our family and friends live. The theme was sorta supposed to be "flowers" so I blew up balloons and tied them together to make them look like flowers. Sorry, no pics! Only problem was that Brailey absolutely HATED the balloons. Whenever they are in the air at the stores she always points and laughs and wants to grab them so imagine my surprise when one starts floating towards her and she FREAKS out. She started crying and crawling really fast toward me and I was already blowing up another balloon so she gave me the most disgusted/scared look like "you're the one creating those monsters!" It took her quite a while that night to get over it and even then if one came by her without her approval she would start grabbing whoever was closest and hold on with a death grip and then proceed to cry if it still pursued her. lol. She is so funny. I sometimes can't figure her out.

Finally, everyone showed up and we sang happy birthday to her, watched her play in her cake, gave her a quick bath because of how messy she was, and then opened presents. It is crazy how spoiled she is. Its good to know everyone loves her so much and wanted to get her such awesome gifts! I have never seen so many gifts for such a little girl. I'm not sure she even knows what to do with all of them. ha ha. She has so much to distract her now.

Love these cute little hands digging in the cake. :)

It turned out to be a really great birthday celebration. I love my little turkey so much. She lights up the darkest rooms and is the rainbow to my rainy day. No experience beats being a wife and a mother.

So happy!

A $2 Dollar bill! I love these and I know Brailey will too! My great grandma gave me one when I was little and now Brailey has one from her great grandma. Eventually this will be framed! Wish they still existed in our money system. How cool would that be? I guess you can technically still use them, but I wish they still made them!

Braileys cousins wanted to help open presents with her since Brailey was getting so distracted. lol. 

Surrounded by all her toys!

Hugs goodbye to friend Liam! :) So glad that Brittany and Derick were able to make it! It was a great surprise.

 All her presents out of their boxes and at home! Goodness that took forever and now Brailey has a lot of stuff to play with. ha ha.











Now for the update on Brailey!

• She loves pointing at everything now. She is so curious.
• I started having her drink cows milk about 2 weeks before turning 1 and so far she LOVES it. The past couple months she would never finish her formula and I was so worried that she wasn't getting enough nourishment. She just refused to drink it... but as soon as I switched to milk she can't get enough of it. She actually cries at me when the bottle gets empty and that is after eating 4 oz of food and then 8 oz of milk. 
• She loves opening and closing things as well as turning things on and off. 
• She can say "hi" just doesn't know when. 
• She gives the best hugs! I feel like the most important person in the world when she wraps her arms around me. She holds me so tight and just lays her head on my shoulder. Best feeling EVER!
• She loves to stand up, but still refuses to walk on her own. She has gotten as far as holding only one of my hands and walking like that. 
• She goes down the stairs so GOOD. She learned so quickly! I was always so scared she would fall down the stairs because we decided not to use gates for the stairs and instead just make sure to teach her that its not okay to go up without me or dad behind her. She did really good at listening to us and now she is amazing at going down the stairs. I wanted her to learn not to go down face forward cause she could fall. So she basically crawls/slides down on her knees. 
• She has 6 teeth in all so far. 4 on top and 2 on bottom.
• She shakes her head "no" all the time. Right now its cute and funny to watch cause she moves her body with her head, but I know I am going to regret it later.
• She "dances" by shaking her entire body all around. Its similar to when she is saying no but its more side to side versus back and forth and she moves a lot more. 
• For some odd reason she loves to rub her head on the floor and finds it hilarious. 
• She loves her feet still and uses them to pick things up.
• When I am dressing her in the morning she knows I am about to put her pants on and sticks one leg out and then the other. Its so cute.
• She loves to bounce.
• She eats all her veggies really well now... including peas. (never thought it would happen, but she actually likes them now)
• She has so much fun with all her toys and stuffed animals and gives them hugs.
• She LOVES her daddy. She hardly gets to see him now with his school and work taking up most of his day. She usually only sees him while I take him to and from school and a few minutes in between. So days that he gets to play with her are her favorite. She absolutely adores her dad and always has the biggest smiles for him. 
• She loves watching her disney videos. 
• She tries to read her books. Of course she can't really read just yet, but its fun to watch her turn the pages and babble like she is reading out loud. 
• One of her new toys has a microphone on it to sing a long. She put it up to her ear and started talking into it like it was a phone. SO adorable. She is so smart. Guess she see's mama talking on the phone with dad quite a bit.
• We just had her appointment and she weighs 17lbs 12 oz, she is 28 and 1/4 inches tall and her head is 17.5 inches around. She hasn't gained much since her last appointment so she is in the 6th percentile for weight, but she is in the 24th percentile for height so that has gone up a little. And 33% for her head. Doc said that her weight will fluctuate a lot now that she is moving and learning to walk so she still looks good.
• I can start giving her table food like eggs, macaroni, peanut butter, etc. I am so excited for this! I have let her have little bits of egg and macaroni before, but now I can just let her eat these things for meals! And fruits and veggies are the snacks. :)  

Well I think that's it for a little while. I won't be updating every month like I used to, but I will still blog about other things as well every now and again. I will probably have another one on here sometime next week. lol.  Sorry for the long update. :) Hope you enjoyed.